Large Family Organization...Laundry

Oh the dreaded laundry!  It is not at the top of my list of enjoyable activities.  I will also admit that the only laundry that I enjoy folding is the little baby clothes.  They are quick, easy, and cute:)  But baby laundry soon gives way to toddler, child, and teen sizes...and smells. 

I would like to say that the laundry process in our home looks something like this.

But honestly, it looks more like this.

And, sometimes it feels a bit like this.

So, I thought I would post here on the evolution of the laundry process in our home.  Yes, it has evolved over the years!

When Peter and I were first married, I worked full time.  He was in school full time and working part time.  Those were the days when I could clean the house and it would stay mostly clean for the week.  During this early phase, we did laundry once a week.  And, funny enough, I thought it was quite a chore...haha.  I continued doing laundry once a week with the birth of our first and second children.  I would do a dark and light load of  "baby" clothes and it didn't really add much to the overall chore.

When our third child came along, I started doing laundry on two different days. One day for the kids and one day for everything else.  I would separate dark and lights for the kids laundry and then do the same for our laundry.  This worked well until our fifth child arrived. 

With seven people in the house, I needed a new system.  So, I decided to do a laundry rotation and choose a different category for each day.  So, one day I would do the older boys' laundry, the three littles on another day, sheets another, and so forth.  I still had room for a catch up day...or two:)

When our sixth baby arrived, we decided to switch to cloth diapers.  That would be two babies in cloth as our fifth baby was not potty trained.  Yeah.  This made an immediate impact on the laundry.  I then started doing a load of diapers each night and hanging them to dry over night.  This was, of course, in addition to the other many loads of laundry. 

Now, with nine people in the family, we have a slightly different rotation.  We have several different laundry baskets in the family closet and the kids know where to put their dirty laundry.  So, one of the morning chores (currently Wesley's jurisdiction at 6 years old) is to take the correct basket to the laundry room.  This way, the laundry is waiting for me first thing.  The older boys have two baskets (light and dark) as do the little boys.  Abby and Timmy have their own seperate baskets and each usually takes just one load.  I divide the day's laundry into light, dark, and do separate loads for Peter's work clothes.  Adding in the daily load of cloth diapers, I do between 3-5 loads daily.

Here is our rotation:

Monday - 3 little boys

Tuesday - Abby and Timmy

Wednesday - big boys

Thursday - Dad and Mom

Friday - towels and sheets

Saturday - catch up

When it comes to folding laundry, the older three kids fold and put away their laundry independently during their afternoon free time.  I really just praise them for their work and don't require perfection.  Which sometimes means not looking in their drawers...haha.  Their folding will come along with maturity.  My purpose in having them fold is to develop a good work ethic and character not to have them become perfectionists.

I am teaching my four and six year old boys to fold laundry so the three of us work together to fold the little boys' clothing.  It's a good time chat with them about whatever is on their little minds.  The plan is for me to fold other laundry during my scheduled time each afternoon.  But, if a day gets too busy, I just do it that night or the next day.  This lets the schedule support me and not enslave me...something that took me years to learn:)

So, that's how we get our 15-25 loads of laundry done each week. How do you get the laundry done in your home?

Four Keys to a Successful First Day of (Home)School

Well, it's that time of year again.

The time when...
*school supplies are set out in the front of every store
*parents fight the crowds with a supply list in hand
*children's wardrobes are spruced up with new school clothes/shoes...or uniforms
*parents and children meet the new teacher
*children wait and hope that their friends will end up in their class 
*facebook, twitter, and instagram are flooded with "first day" photos

All the business and stress leads up to a day when kids are dropped off and mom goes back to her normal routine of homemaking or career building and things are more peaceful after a busy summer schedule.

But, in the homeschool world things can play out quite differently.  In our home we school year round taking just a few weeks off to wipe the slate clean for the new year.  We don't usually have to fight the crowds for school supplies.  Wardrobes aren't the same priority when you can do school in your pjs and there really is no need for backpacks and lunch boxes.  But on the first day of school at home things really kick into high gear.  The first day of school can be overwhelming for the mom who will be teaching several different grade levels with a nursing baby and/or a few excitable preschoolers running around. 

So, for all of those homeschool moms who will have a very busy first day of school this year, I want to give you four keys that I have found to unlock a mostly successful first day of HOMEschool.

1. Make a Schedule....just do it.
I know, I know...I can hear the groaning.  But, one of the keys to success in any area of life is having a written plan.  A schedule is nothing more than a written plan for your day.  There are many different types of schedules with different levels of detailing.  On my schedule, I have everything that I would like to accomplish on a daily basis and time for working on long term projects.  I recently heard a schedule described by Heidi St. John over at The Busy Mom as "the training wheels for your day".  It is not your master and you are not a slave to it.  I really like this description.  When the going gets tough, you can always leave the schedule but if there is no written plan things are likely to be left undone.  When this happens extra work (and stress) can be heaped on the next day.  The times that I have tried to school with no schedule or just a skeleton of a schedule, I have experienced more stress from things being undone and piling up than I have from sitting down creating a schedule and letting it guide me through my day.  So, have a written plan!

Here is my schedule two years ago.  It changes a bit from year to year but some of the essentials that work well for us remain the same:)  I used Managers of Their Homes to create my schedule but any schedule is better than no schedule.

2. Start before the first day or take it one step at a time.
Aside from a written plan, I do believe that this is the single most helpful thing I have ever done for a successful first day of school at home.  And, it is so simple:)  Rome wasn't built in a day!  Easy does it...really. 
The week before our "first day of school" we go ahead and start getting back into our school year schedule. I start by getting everyone (especially baby and myself) back into the bedtime, wake up, naps, and feeding routine.  The kids practice getting morning jobs done efficiently.  This just seems to take time in our home.  And time is abundant without the extra pressure of a full day of schooling ahead of us.  So, I can peacefully help those who are struggling with their morning routine.  Some years I have started the morning schedule one week and then added the afternoon the next week.  However you choose to ease into things, take it one step at a time.  This one simple key eliminates so many issues on the actual first day of school for us. 
* Next year I intend to start my Jr. High student a week before everyone else as he will begin doing more independent work.  This way I can devote as much time as necessary to ensure his success before adding in the other kids.

3.  Train the littles.
This is high on my list of priorities before the first day of school.  The week (or two) before that anticipated first day, I start sitting down with my toddlers and preschoolers at different times throughout the day and playing the games that I intend for them during school times.  This gives me the chance to teach them the appropriate way to play with and clean up the games, puzzles, and art (you know...without throwing pieces all over the house and painting the walls).  It also gives me the opportunity to see how well each of these items will work for that child and the chance to put away the items that just will.not.work for independent play.

4. Begin with exploration, fun, and laughter.
On the actual first day of school, my kids are always curious about new books, notebooks, computer programs, note cards, supplies, etc.  So, we do very little "school" on the first day of school...although they do learn a great deal;)  Since there is no reason to hit the ground running, I let them have a chance to thumb through things and become familiar with each book or program during the time when they will be doing that subject.  They can also ask all of those 100 questions:)  I look for any project, art, experiment, or kitchen fun in the first few weeks of our MFW curriculum and plan on that for our afternoon school time (when we usually do MFW).
One year we painted t-shirts that had our school name and verse on the back. 

Last year we went on a field trip for our first day of school.  The second day is available here. 
To add to the fun, we usually have a special breakfast and then a protein snack mid morning to keep them going (actually we do the protein snack pretty regularly throughout the school year).  Lastly, remember to find opportunities to laugh throughout your day.  It might seem obvious but I find that I can become so focused on the details that I forget to laugh with the kids.  Learning is fun!  So, creating a love for learning takes precedent over any one lesson in our school. And sometimes that means leaving my lovely schedule:)

These four keys have unlocked a more successful first day of (home)school for us the last few years. 

What things do you do to unlock success for your first day of school?

It's just not working.

I try very hard to make things work for every member of our family.  My goal is to make our home reasonably pleasant, peaceful, organized, clean and a place that we all WANT to be.  This is a real challenge with six kids who are all home...all day...every day.  The work and messes are inevitable but there are some things that I have learned (and many more that I will learn I'm sure) that help make things work when it's just not working.

First thing in the morning is the time when I have the most work to get done in the shortest amount of time.  There are diapers to be changed, babies to get dressed, breakfast, clean up, starting laundry, and then checking on my older kids to ensure that they are getting their things done. 

I aim to get up early (between 7 and 7:30 is early for me!) and spend time in the Word and prayer as well as get myself presentable for the day BEFORE any kids are up.  Sometimes it works, sometimes I have weepy toddlers hanging on my ankles as I drink my morning water and brush my teeth...haha.  But, the latter happens most often when I hit that "start your day late" button.  I would like to start school at 9 in the morning (we are NOT early risers).  But, this takes some real focus and planning.  I found that I was having to chase after the kids and do too much correcting first thing in the morning.  It adds to my morning work and just honestly isn't a good peaceful start to our day.  It also led to me checking their morning chores on a rather random schedule and not truly holding them accountable.

So, I thought I would try bribing  rewarding our children.  I do expect my children to obey with a cheerful heart immediately but if I can get them to make a habit of this by rewarding them for a few months and avoiding all of the fussing and discipline then I am all for that.  Games and rewards are fun for everyone. I hope to do more training than discipline...it's so much more fun.  I have not always felt this way but it is something that the Lord has laid on my heart in the last few years as I am working to gain the hearts of my children...and it is hard work for me.  It comes natural for some but for me I have to work hard and stay focused on the goal. 

I thought that if they get up, get dressed, make their beds, pick up their rooms, do their morning chore, eat breakfast, and are sitting on the couch ready to begin school by 9 am without me having to tell them a thing...that deserves a reward!!  My 10, 9, 7, and 5 year olds can all do this.  It's amazing!  If the reward falls within their currency, they will do amazing things to get that reward. 

I made a quick chart (which I can't post here without embarrassing some of my kids...so I won't) to keep track of who earns a reward each morning and put it on the side of the fridge.  Then, at 9 am EVERY morning, I trek back up the stairs and check all rooms and chores.  Accountability is key for my kids.  If they are not ready by 9, we still start school anyway but they have to use their "free time" later to complete whatever wasn't done yet...and no reward.

So far, I have had peaceful mornings and many mornings most of the kids are sitting on the couch ready at 9 am.  Why didn't I do this sooner?  haha.  It's wonderful.  Now, our mornings can be more peaceful...I love peaceful!

What do you do to get your kids up and ready for school in the mornings? 

The leaning tower of laundry

If you think that title is an exaggeration, it's not.  We currently do between three and five loads of laundry every day.  Partly because I do cloth diapers, but, that is what it takes to keep us all in clean clothes, towels, sheets, and diapers.  As long as I stick to the schedule there is no problem...lots of work but no problem.

But, the other day, as I opened the washer to move the wet laundry to the dryer, I knew that there was a problem.  My laundry was still dripping.  Wanting to give my washer the benefit of the doubt, I restarted the spin cycle to no avail.  So, I began hand wringing the laundry...only because there was really no other option.  I have a phobia (well, maybe just a strong dislike) of public laundry facilities and there is no way I am lugging six kids there...even in a pinch.  So, it was hand wringing and double dryer cycles to get the cloth diapers clean.  Everything else could wait...and I switched to paper diapers for the meantime!

My wonderfully talented husband had the machine apart, repaired,and back together in a matter of three days.  But that means 10-15 loads behind...not to mention the 3-5 new loads that we produce every day.  So, after one long laundry day and then adding in an extra load or two everyday for a week, we are finally caught up...on the washing.  Even the leaning tower of laundry on my living room couch has been put away.  Here is a picture of my cleared couch:)

Ahhh...now I am ready to start the laundry week over again...minus all the extra loads!!

Goodbye "Not me"

I have always been an organizer.  Even as a child, I enjoyed organizing...I know!  

My mom recognized this talent (or possibly curse...haha) and allowed me to organize around the house.  Now that I am a mom, I understand that she was giving up having things organized "her way".  She used to say "A place for everything, and everything in it's place".  But, she let me decide the "place" for many things in our home.

As a classroom teacher, I kept my classroom and supplies organized and enjoyed working in an environment where everything was in it's place.  Each year I had a student or two who enjoyed organizing and could delegate some of the organizing.

Now, that I am home with my six children...and homeschooling, it is a whole new ballgame!  Before...I could organize and then enjoy how peaceful things looked.  Now, I organized...say...the changing table, and return five minutes later to find every diaper, soaker, liner, and wipe strewn about the room.  So, I have had to adjust...and learn a few things over the last decade.  

The first thing that I learned is to let things go!  That has actually been the hardest (by far!) and yet the most important lesson of all.  It's alright if "everything isn't in it's place" (and my mom quite agrees! haha).  It is more important to spend time with my children...educating them, enjoying them, and working to win their little hearts than to have that perfectly organized home.

The second thing that I have learned is to allow things to be put away and organized in a way different than how I would do it.  The kids learn a great deal from trial and error and sometimes they come up with more efficient ideas than me!  It isn't always as neat and tidy as I like, but they will get there with time.  I focus on praising them for their efforts and know that maturity will bring about better results...I can already see it in my older ones!

The third thing that I have learned is how to efficiently organize and require the kids to be responsible to clean up behind themselves...and recently we have adding "going the extra mile" by serving someone else.

(*I will explain more on this later.)

As the kids have grown old enough to do things for themselves, it is amazing how many towels, dishes, and toys seem to jump out all by themselves.  I remember a Family Circus cartoon with a translucent figure labeled "Not me" making the messes and noises as each child was saying "not me".  Here are a few of the cartoons if you didn't grow up enjoying these fabulous cartoons.

Bil Keane passed away a few months ago, but his artwork will forever be a part of American culture.  These cartoons were my earliest introduction to the large family (at least I thought it was a large family back then...haha!).  I love the Bil Keane quote in the NY Times article linked above.  “Everything that’s happened in the strip has happened to me,” he once said. “That’s why I have all this white hair.”   

 I love it!  I think most of them have happened to me as well:)

 Well, "Not me" had taken up residence in our home:)  

So, here is what we have done over the years to help things run more efficiently and be more organized (and cut down on squabbling too!).  We are color coded.  I started color coding when I had two toddlers who would fight over sippy cups.  I couldn't expect them to recognize their name (or even look for it at one and two) but with color coding and a little reinforcement, they knew what was theirs.

Now, we have color coded so much more. They all know their colors...even little Sethy.  As a matter of fact, Seth doesn't know the correct name for colors.  He calls colors by the name of the kid who has that color.  So, if you hold up something green and ask him what color it is, he will say "Brennan"...haha!

We color coded the water cups that sit on the counter next to the refrigerator for quick and easy access.  This cuts down on the number of dishes we have to wash each day.  At the end of the day, there are only five kids cups to wash.  Here is a picture of the kid's water cups.  I bet you can guess who has the pink cup:)

We have color coded the dishes.  This is SO helpful.  I can set the table and each child will sit by their color.  I can separate particular kids who do better apart and individualize their plates according to what I know each likes.  By this I mean leaving cheese off or putting pepper on...not cooking a different food for each:)  I can also tell right away, who didn't clear their dishes from the table.  
Take that..."Not me"!

*Recently, we have added in serving another family member in addition to cleaning up behind ourselves.  This means that as they clean up their own things, they also clean up one or more things that belong to someone else.  In our home there are little ones who can't clean up all of their own things so, we are all learning to serve each other...learning:)

A friend of mine told me one day how she had found this really cute shower curtain with a world map on it and lots of colors and how she had bought each child a different color towel to match the curtain.  

Ah ha.  I love it!  

So, I found a shower curtain...possibly the exact same one (yes, I do copycat what I see and like) with a map and amazingly enough it had all of our colors on it.  So, each child now has a towel in their own color.  Now, "Not me" can't leave bathroom towels or washcloths lying around. 

(The lighting is bad here and Abby's towel looks red but it is actually a hot pink.)

Now, being a homeschool mom, I decided to color code our school things as well.  It is amazing.  No more squabbling over who stole whose pencil.  It is obvious whose pencil it is and we don't need a judge and jury to get the verdict.  Here is a picture of the three older kids' school supplies.  I wasn't able to find a few items in pink for Abby so we filled in with purple for the time being.  The boys won't touch her pink/purple things with a ten foot pole!  Haha.

We have also color coded our daily schedule.  You can see more about this on a previous post by clicking here.  It is so much easier for the kids to check independently.

So, that is how we rid our house of "Not me"...well...in some areas anyway:)  So much more organized and peaceful without him!

What things have you done to shew "Not me" out the door?

Goodbye Schedule:)

Okay, so after that last post about all of the lists and schedules that make daily life in our home functional, I thought it would be good to follow up with a post about a day at home where we don't follow the schedule.

Today, I decided to take the day off from school and do some deep cleaning.  We are hosting several events and family holiday gatherings over the next six weeks and our house really needed a thorough deep cleaning. 

I decided NOT to tell the kids until the last minute.  (This is something that I am doing more and more these days.  I have found that when I tell the kids about plans in advanced, they build up expectations and then reality never measures up.  And, it helps if we need to make last minute adjustments to the plans.)  So, I waited to tell them so that they would sleep to the normal time (they always get up so early when they know something different is going on...amazing) and get their morning routine accomplished without the extra excitement and energy that comes with a change of routine.  We did everything just as scheduled until 10:30 or so when we completed My Father's World for the day (This curriculum is planned by the week so I like to stick to it as much as possible.). 

At this time, I explained to the older three kids that we would be having a "cleaning day".  You should have heard the happy cheering kids!  They know how I love to have a clean house and consistently tempt me to put school aside and clean so they were overjoyed that I was finally doing just that.  Everyone was given a different job and we all set about busily cleaning windows, ceiling fans, light fixtures, baseboards, walls, vertical blinds, etc.  I wanted to do all of those things that are hard to work into the normal schedule and those that we have skipped recently:)

The two little boys played computer games and watched a video and the baby napped.  Sometimes I have the little ones help but today I was more focused on actually getting the place clean rather than training little hands, so I used a cheap babysitter...haha.

It is always a challenge to get cleaning done while monitoring the kids doing their cleaning.  Between the ages of six and ten, they are still easily distracted and I have to chase them down from time to time and get them back on task.  

We took a break for a late lunch and then did a little yard trimming and clean up while the little ones napped in the afternoon.

 So, you see...I can leave that schedule behind...really I can:)  It is actually a nice change of pace every once in a while.

After mopping the floors tonight, I am now sitting in a clean and peaceful house...ahhhh.  Now to keep it clean past the event that we are hosting tomorrow night!

There is NO secret ingredient...or is there?

I remember going to a session at a homeschool convention that was going to be about how to "get it all done" (I put this in italics and quotes because we all know that moms never really have it all done).  I can't remember the name of the session but just that I was excited to finally get the answers that had been alluding me all these years (as if there were some magic formula).  I had four little ones five years old and younger and felt that I was always a few days behind in everything that needed to be done.  And, I had long since given up on perfection and decided to go for survival...haha.  Still, I was having trouble getting it all done.  With great anticipation, I watched the speaker go up on stage as I balanced my newborn baby on my lap with paper and pen in hand.  I was ready to jot down the secrets.  This was going to be my breakthrough.  The secrets to the universe would soon be mine...haha.  The first words that the speaker said went something like this..."I'm not going to talk about how I get the dishes and laundry done.  I'm going to focus on how I get the schooling done."...or something like that.  I felt the wind go out of my sail.  I wasn't so worried about how to get the school done.  My kids were still little and we were having a great time going through the Science based theme units that I had designed around the days of creation.  What I really wanted to know was how to get it ALL done...the dishes, house cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, time with preschoolers, individual tutoring with older kids, grading, quiet time, time with my husband, staying in touch with family members, writing "thank you" notes, etc.  I can't remember anything else but the opening line from that session.  However, over time I have had different moms share with me some of their secrets to "getting it all done".  The biggest secret is that there is no secret...haha.  It took me years to finally learn that.  I was really looking for that one secret or magic formula.  It is much like the line in Kung Fu Panda "There is NO secret ingredient".  Although in my case, there is no magic...but there is a secret ingredient...or several actually:) 

Through the years, I have taken suggestions from other moms, changed a few around, and finally pieced together a good reliable plan that works for our family and will allow me to get it all done...well, most of it anyway...on a good day:)  I wanted to share them here in the hopes that somewhere out there in cyberspace is that young mom with four kids five and under, that was me a few years ago, looking for some "ingredients" that will help to create a smooth and workable homeschool experience.  So, take the ones that work for you and leave the rest behind.  As my dad says "Eat the watermelon and spit out the seeds"...or eat the soup and spit out the noodles...or something like that:)


I have a great deal to get done EVERY day.  I know you are all shocked upon hearing this...haha.  I get up, have my quiet time, feed the baby, get little boys diapered and dressed, wake older kids, start laundry, get breakfast, adjust laundry, check to see if chores are done, adjust the laundry again, get out the curriculum that we will be going through that day...and did I mention laundry?  And, this is all before nine in the morning.  Whew.  I get tired just listing it all.  Here is what I do to "get it all done"...the vitals anyway.

1. I have a daily schedule.  I used a great book "Managers of their Homes" http://www.titus2.com/ecommerce/products/prod_listing.php/1100 to help me put together a workable schedule.  Every child has a place to be and an activity (sometimes free time and yet scheduled) to be doing all the time.  Our days are scheduled from wake up to go to bed.  Now, I can see you all running for the hills.  Come baaaack!  It really isn't that bad.  I can choose to NOT follow the schedule any day.  But, it is there for me and if I stick with it everything will get done...most days:)  When we stick to the plan, I get to have time alone with each older child...and Peter does too.  And honestly, the days go much smoother when we stick to the plan.  Everyone knows what to expect and the little ones get to stay in a good routine.  Here is a picture of the detailed schedule that we follow...most days:)

Notice all of the white blank spots at the beginning of the day?  I am NOT an early riser:)

2. I have lists...yes the plural is intentional.  There is a list on my bedroom door telling me what to do before I go down stairs and another list telling me what to have done before retiring to upstairs at night.  (I really want to minimize the trips that I make up and down each day.)  There are several lists by the washroom door leading to the garage telling me what I need to have packed in the van for...PE, church, park outings, water play, etc.  It is basic enough that the older kids can read and then pack the van for me.  Believe it or not, the older ones usually like it when I trust them with an important job like this and are pretty willing to help...especially my organizer.

3. I have a chore list and Saturday cleaning rotation for the kids.  Each child has a chore to complete after breakfast every morning of the week, except Sunday morning, and another just before dinner (the evening chores are mostly related to picking up the mess of the day so that Peter comes home to a peaceful environment).  The two little boys are buddied up with an older brother and "help" them with their chore.  For example, Nathan puts the dishes away each morning and Wesley "helps"...the Padawan learner.

  Nathan puts away glass dishes and has Wesley put away the plastics that mom conveniently stores in low cabinets.  On Saturdays, rooms are cleaned (this is more in depth than the daily pick-up) and then everyone works together on one large chore from the rotation.  It may be yard work, or cleaning out the cars, etc.  These are jobs that can be done once a month or less.  After this, Saturdays are "free days".  The list below is old and needs to be updated.  From time to time, change is needed and I adjust when I see that one thing isn't working.

4. I have a daily cleaning and laundry rotation for me.  
The laundry rotation means that each morning I do a different category of laundry.  So, Monday is little kids laundry, Tuesday is Peter's and mine, Wednesday is towels, etc.  So, including cloth diapers that I do every day, I am usually doing 3-5 loads of laundry every day.
The cleaning rotation means that every afternoon, I clean one or two rooms of the house.  If I keep it up, the house stays in good condition...livable anyway:)

5. I have a biweekly menu planned along with an ever growing shopping list.  I do grocery shopping every two weeks so, I plan a detailed menu for two weeks at a time.  I plan every meal.  For breakfast, I normally have foods that the kids can help themselves to such as whole wheat bagels, cereal, instant oatmeal, or something in the crockpot.  (My current favorite crockpot recipe is steel cut oats.)  I make green smoothies for myself and four of my older kids will drink that as well.  Lunch is usually salad and sandwiches or leftovers from the night before.  I have a different food planned for each night of the week.  For example, Monday nights are leftovers, Tuesdays are tacos...or taco salad, Wednesdays are baked potatoes, etc.  We do fun and exciting recipes Friday through Sunday when there is less or no school, schedules are free, and Peter is home.

So, there you have it.  These are my "secret ingredients" that really aren't secret but, when put together help our home run more smoothly.  Most of this information I keep in a three ring binder that I lovingly refer to as my brain:)

I would love to hear other ideas on how to "get it all done".  What do you do to "get it all done"?

Making it fun.

This morning after breakfast as all the kids were doing their morning chores (or rather they were supposed to be doing their chores) it hit me that somehow none of them were actually doing their chores...and they hadn't been for a while.  Well, that isn't all together true.  They had been eventually doing them...just not right away and with a cheerful heart.  As I thought about this, I realized that they had been slow to obey in other areas too.  How does this happen?  It's not like I had been letting them disobey...was it?  Hmmm.  It is amazing to me how I can be just going about my days and then, all of the sudden, I realize that we are pretty far off in one area or another.  It is a slow happening in our family.  It is like the frog who will boil to death, never realizing that he is in hot water, as long as the water is gradually turned up...slow over time.  That frog will just sit there and boil to death.  I am so glad that I am not a frog...haha.  But, all of the sudden, I realized that the water of distraction and disobedience had become pretty hot and I needed to jump out and pull the kids with me.  I was being distracted and they were disobeying.  I do have plenty of things to distract me and it is a real challenge to stay focused on each small interaction with each child but, somehow, I had to make the change.  Reminding them over and over to do their chores and obey immediately wasn't really making for a peaceful house nor was I winning their hearts in the process.  It was creating lots of stress.

At six, eight, and almost ten, my older three children should really be capable of being independent with their chores.  The chores are age appropriate and should take about ten minutes.  I even have a check list for them to refer to in the mornings (I'm a list person and they can all read.  When they are too young to read, I make a list by pictures.  Watch for a later post on this.)  Even my four year old is capable of doing a chore that is appropriate to his age.  (My little boys are currently buddied up with an older brother to start learning a chore.  It is fantastically cute to watch the older two boys teaching the little two.)  But, it wasn't working.  I have plans to order "Managers of Their Chores" by Terri Maxwell to see if it will help me manage their chores...haha:)  But, until then, something had to change...and fast!

So, it was time to sit everyone (the older four actually) down and talk about the change.  I told them that we needed to make some changes.  Kids were not getting their chores done or obeying in a timely fashion and mom was having to remind them too much.  It was making us start school later in the morning which, in turn, eats away at their free time in the afternoon.  They perked up at this point but, I could still see the fog in their eyes so, after explaining the consequences of disobedience in our home, I decided to make it fun.  Kids can accomplish SO much when you make a game out of it.

There are five basic things that I would like them to remember when asked to do a job or chore.

1. Smile at mom (or whatever adult is giving instructions)  This is actually very important because it causes them to immediately check their emotions and helps them to practice self-control in the physical.  Even if their hearts aren't there quite yet, it is about being polite.
2. Say "Yes ma'am, I'd be happy to".  Yet one more check that allows them to practice self-control in the verbal.  I am from Texas and really like for my kids to show respect to all adults by responding with "yes ma'am" or "yes sir".  This is definitely not one of the Ten Commandments or anything...I just like it.  It's polite:) We are not totally there yet, but we are working on it.  It also goes far beyond just obeying by speaking (the spoken word is VERY powerful) aloud that they will be happy to obey.
3. Go do the job or chore (obey) very quickly.
4. Check to make sure that the job is done completely and well.  We call this "Checkity-check-check-check".
5. Return to mom (they may have to find me as I rarely stay in one place very long...haha) and report that the job is done.  This keeps me from having to keep asking about chores which can wear on them.

We repeated these five steps together several times...over exaggerating each one.  You should have seen how big these kids can smile and how sweetly they can say "Yes ma'am, I'd be happy to"!  Even my eldest, who is shy and slightly above this sort of silliness, (in his own mind anyway) joined in.

Now comes the fun part.  Being that all of my children are still in the "front nine" they really need to practice this to help them remember.  I have found that they remember so much more with repetition and getting up and moving while they learn.  So...I called out instructions and they would go through all five steps.  We again, over exaggerated each one of the steps and they each got their turn to be silly and to laugh at their siblings being silly.  Smile.  "Yes ma'am. I'd be happy to.", run do the job, checkity-check-check-check, Report back to mom.  It went like this.  "Brennan, please go lock the back door."  Brennan responds with: Smile. "Yes ma'am, I'd be happy to."  Run lock the door. Checkity-check-check-check.  Report back to mom.  "Mom, I have locked the door."  I gave them quick jobs and some silly like "Go stand on that rug and jump ten times".  This is an especially great one to give to any little boys who are having a hard time sitting still...and I have five boys:)

We did this for a while so that each of them had several chances to participate and then, when I could see that they had it down, we switched it a bit and kept practicing.

We did it "Army style".  The boys especially loved this and it went something like this.  Mom says, "Private Abby.  I have a mission for you.  Take that webkinz and put it away in the loft".  Abby responds with: Smile.  "Yes ma'am, I'd be happy to"...saluting as she speaks.  Run to put away the toy.  Checkity-check-check-check.  Report to mom..."Sergeant Mom, I have completed the mission". 

So, we started our "academic school" very late today and didn't get everything done that was on my list before we had to leave for PE.  But, we had fun and laughed together, we worked on character and heart issues, and the kids now have defined steps to follow when I ask them to do something.  There can be no doubt of my expectations. 


*I did steal this idea from the Duggar's book "20 and Counting" but changed it to fit the situation for our family.

*If you are looking for a list of "age appropriate" chores for your children, I would recommend "The Homeschooler's Book of Lists" by Sonya A. Haskins.  Our local library has it...your may too:)